Bogan Medical Terms

Benign – What you be, after you be eight.

Artery – The study of paintings

Bacteria – Back door to cafeteria

Barium – what doctors do when patients die

Cesarean section – a neighborhood in Rome

Cat scan – searching for kitty

Cauterize – made eye contact with her

Colic – a sheep dog

coma- a punctuation mark

D & C – Where Washington is

Dilate – to live long

Enema – Not a friend

Fester – quicker than someone else

Fibula – a small lie

Genital – a non-Jewish person

GI series – world series of military baseball

Hangnail – what you hang your coat on

Impotent – distinguished, well-known

Labor pain – getting hurt at work

medical staff – a doctor’s cane

Morbid – a higher offer

Nitrates – cheaper than day rates

Node – I knew it

Outpatient – a person who has fainted

Pap Smear – A fatherhood test

Pelvis – second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative – a letter carrier

Recovery room – place to do upholstery

Rectum – darn near killed him

Secretion – hiding something

Seizure – a Roman emperor

Tablet – a small table

Terminal Illness – getting sick at the airport

Tumor – one plus one more

Urine – opposite of you’re out

Varicose – nearby / close by

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Filed under Emergency Medicine, General Practice, Humour

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